


Human Monster

by PrislyDawn



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Drowning, Multi, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sociopathy, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, add more tags later, psychopathy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-04 17:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12776340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrislyDawn/pseuds/PrislyDawn
Summary: Based on scrabblesense.Tumblr.com Monster Hamilsquad AU.You, an anomaly among races as they don't treat as what you are. To humans, a hidden monster. Yet to monsters, a vile human. As life treated you with a blessing and a disorder, you ended being a "hunter" in both sides. Your life changed when a certain fellows decided to barge in it. Though as your past creeps in, you don't know if you have the will anymore





	1. The Cluster Fuck Known as Y/N L/N

**Author's Note:**

> This is so bad from the writing style and to how long is this (I'm too lazy and unmotivated to fix it though), but please read the tags if you decide to continue. 
> 
> I pretty much let y'all scratch the surface of the cluster fuck known as Y/N (Your Name) L/N (Last Name)in this chapter. In this AU no one wanted, also new scars don't fade under a month

It has been weeks (months??) since you had contacted any of your friends. You weren't planning doing so in any time sooner as well. You just let yourself be hidden from civilization. You just had a phone (no signal nearby though), a knife, a gun (with some extra ammo), and some money.

Living in the wilderness is fun and a great experience; You might have starved, probably got hypothermia or at least sick, bit by wild animals, started a forest fire for a short while. But hey you're alive! You constantly looked at that positive side, or does your impulses make it seem like it's positive? People said your overconfident, ride, arrogant, ill-tempered and other things but actually you don't have any self control. 

Back to the question. Is this positive? Does this make you happy like most positive things people said were? Living a carefree life and be hardheaded because you guess it'll work out, and if it doesn't then they were tight. Maybe you were lying to yourself constantly like you do to most. You're just making excuses to kill someone again someday. Make a bigger mess out if things. You forgot what was positive anymore. 

"Is not dying positive?" You asked to no one but a tree. 

_"YOU'RE A MONSTER, A FUCKING FREAK. ALL YOU DO IS KILL. WHY WON'T YOU KILL YOURSELF INSTEAD"_ a memory seemed to be your response. It made you feel.... that feeling again, what they called as pain. You've experienced so much of it yet you knew that your pain was invalid since you never really cared much about it and also another reason. You always kept it deep down for others sake. Maybe that's why you were so damn impulsive and numb. 

You bashed your head on a nearby tree, you did this a lot whenever you start to remember what people said about you. So much that it became a habit "Shut up, shut up, shut up..." You hastily repeated like a mantra. "You can't let **them** get you... wait what kind of them? Was it the bad guys or my thoughts OR both? Both maybe?" You asked to a tree, you talked aloud a lot as well, usually to yourself, but you like to pretend anything in front you is listening. Of course it didn't give a response. 

"Both" You agreed and nodded to yourself "Actually why did I get that memory as an response" you shrug. Before this reminded you on how lonely you are but it was relaxing to speak your mind out and nobody was around, so you did.

You hear voices, impulsively you rushed to hide yourself into the nearest bush and waited till they walked away or at least out of your hearing range. A few minutes passed and they were gone. 

You went out of hiding, sighing on how you acted like a wild animal. Can you blame yourself? You did killed a lot of things. It's a life of a mercenary. You never meant to have that kind of life but if you were gonna kill bad guys, why not earn some money on the way. You did just proved that they should go to jail before but as time passed you learned to stop caring. 

_"We don't really matter in the world Y/N. You don't have to protect monsters like us" he soothingly strokes your hair. You pout, he knew clearly why you're your job as a mercenary. Like most they don't get it._

_"I'm doing it for everyone; monsters and humans. Besides I'm a freak, I don't know anymore if I'm a human or a monster. I don't deserve to be cared about" you replied nonchalantly. He frowns at you, you hated that_

_"Y/N, everyone matters. That includes you. You're the better than most humans I've ever meet. You just need to stop risking your life"_

_You wanted to say you didn't, you were too far gone at this point. You can't, you know he would just become even more sad. Instead you just hugged him."I promise I'll stop one day"_

**_You never did_ **

You tripped as you mindlessly walked through the forest. You huff as you probably had more dirt on you now, probably even leaves from the bush. Luckily you knew a nearby lake and that's where you set off to. 

It was pretty secluded and quiet as the lake was clear as crystal, you can see what's in the depths of it which by the way you were sure it was 25 meters deep. You never saw anyone here. You would loved to stay here a relax maybe with someone but that wouldn't happen anytime soon. Cool winds blew through your the trees and your waist length hair. 

You should cut it, you carry a knife but styling your hair was always a good pastime activity. Though your tie broke a few days ago and you lost your comb. Still it was fun experimenting on it. 

You took off your soiled clothes (you kept you underwear on just in case somebody comes), reminding yourself you should wash it later. You looked at your reflection on the lake's surface, scars were everywhere on your body. Burns, gunshots and the most prominent, stab wounds. As long as they were there, you're not coming out of hiding. They're more faded now, you knew they would disappear by a month or so, just like bruises. 

You dive straight in the cool water, sending shivers down your spine. You swam anyway, letting your body adjust as you did. You scrubbed using your hand the get the dirt off you. Then a idea came into mind. You swam deeper into the lake and when you were sure it was like 10 meters. 

You start to "rinse" your hair like it was a shower. Only to have water everywhere around you. You don't know if this is a good idea or not. You just wanted to know what it's like to rinse your hair with water everywhere. Was it worth it? You guessed so. 

You heard someone dive but you need oxygen. You quickly swam up and gasped for air. You looked around where are they but they might be swimming underneath. You took the opportunity to dive down again, you felt you were going deeper than before though till you were sure they didn't hear you. You stayed quiet for a while, until they were gone hopefully.

 _"You can't let them see you, they probably know your face on wanted posters"_ you thought to yourself. Clutching your chest as you need air again. You were going to swim up again until you heard them swimming nearby. _"Oh damn, damn, damn..."_ it was a weird sound though, almost unnatural. They were so fast and agile by the sound of it. You're shaking, you don't know if it's the cold water or that there's a human shark nearby (not literally). The sounds goes louder, like they were going near you. You needed air now, like immediately but they were so close.

You felt their hand grabbing onto your shoulder. It felt like a human's hand, your mind is telling you it isn't considering what you heard earlier. You swatted their hand away but they grabbed onto it instead. 

"I don't think you can breathe that long" you heard an unnatural voice say, it probably sounded weird since you were underwater. It clicked onto your mind though; an excellent swimmer, human like skin, and opens their mouth underwater. It was a siren, pretty much a human shark. 

_"I would've preferred a shark than this. I should've thought of an Olympics swimmer instead"_ you blindly kicked it and felt you successfully did so. You thrashed your body around not wanting for it to come near because as stories go they have a thing for eating humans. Its hands grabbed onto yours trying to stop you. 

"Calm down!" It screamed. Your hands clenched wanting to crush his hands but 

  1. That was impossible with your bare hands. 
  2. You need air because your chest is crushing you. 



"NO!" You've done it now, why on earth would you opened your mouth. The water rushes in mere seconds. You wanted to swim up but it's harder now as you're deep below and a siren might eat you anyway. Instead you just let the water rush in and kill you as you didn't have any better option. 

You went limp and your chest starts giving off a new feeling you can describe as hell. Mentally what you felt as your life dissipates from your body, you felt numb. You knew this day was going to happen sooner. At least your friends wouldn't find you, they won't find you and cry- care that you died and that would be enough. If this siren is going to eat you then they'll be no body left to be for a funeral. You blacked out quickly. 

♥✿♥

John wanted somewhere to swim, other than public pools. Searching around the forest was worth it as he found a large lake with Lafayette, his angel boyfriend that he loves like there's no tomorrow, help, it was easy for them. He didn't know he wasn't alone until he found you staying still underwater.

At first he was confused, you were clearly holding your breathe but you weren't moving. You did swim up for a moment but you immediately went down and deeper than before. He swam closer to you and saw how you reacted when doing so. You couldn't breathe this long though. He tried grabbing onto you but you quickly swatted it away. Maybe someone talking to you underwater was a dead ringer that he was in fact a siren, the same species that humans know for eating humans. 

You kicked him and he moves back a bit, only to watch you thrash around. It didn't look like you were scared though, the way you moved it was graceful, coordinated, like you've practiced it to save your life. That reminds him you're trying to save your life. He grabs onto your hands and unintentionally screamed at you. 

"NO!" You screamed back. His eyes goes wide open in shock. You quickly went limp after a few seconds. 

_"Oh shit"_ he thought as he quickly grabbed you and swam to shore. He laid you down gently as he transforms his tail into legs.

You weren't breathing anymore, he's shaking, he placed his ear on your chest. He hears your heart slowly beat but that didn't stop his from shaking in fear. It was technically his fault that you opened your mouth in the first place. He was freaking out, he (technically) killed someone on accident. He killed (and ate) humans before but he changed now. 

"LAF! LAF! LAF!" He screamed, hoping that his boyfriend will hear him up in the air. Fortunately he did, and he swoops down with prefect grace. _"No time to gawk"_ he reminded

"Mon amour, what has happened!" He said as he immediately saw your almost lifeless body next to him. 

"She drowned! Her heartbeat is slowing d-down.... b-but I don't know how to help her!" 

Immediately Laf started to do chest compressions on you. No response. He wasn't exactly trained in this but he seen this on t.v. Even as an angel, this wasn't exactly a wound he can treat with his powers. He then tilts your head, pinches your nose shut and started the rescue breaths. He continue this for a while then you finally opened your eyes. Looking dazed and confused, you did sit up straight quickly though. 

✿♥✿

You jolt awake and started coughing- correction: puking the water out of your system. Even after that you coughed harshly as you try to regain a normal breathing pattern. When you did so you let your sore body collapse on the ground, looking up seeing an worried angel sitting right next to you. 

"....God I think I'm supposed to be in hell" you breathed out before passing out again. 


	2. Calm down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rip, I procrastinated

"Wake up..." 

_A soft wind blows through your hair, everything was calm, the clear empty fields welcome you like it did before_

"Lady, wake up..."

_It scares you that there was a possibility this place was truly calm. There's always something that's going to happen here._

"I think it's too late...."

_You used to believe that the world will become like this one day._

"She still has a heartbeat though"

_A world where everything was calm, somewhere you didn't belong. If you were ever there, everything would be ruined. You should have stayed here when you had the chance_

You open your eyes again as the two sigh in relief.

**_Everything is already ruined_ **

".....am I in hell now" You asked as you attempted to sit up straight, pressing yourself to whoever is behind you. Rubbing your eyes like you do every time waking up from a nap as it was still blurry. 

"You're not dead...." the person in front of you answered, your eyesight got clearer but you can't believe what's in front of you. You blink a few times for confirmation. 

"I guess I went crazy then.... actually no, I'm already am" You replied joking tone making you giggle a bit "I thought I was going to be eaten by a siren" You rub your head "Now I'm seeing an angel" They look at you understanding the confusion. 

"Ah mon chérie, you're not hallucinating. I am an angel" He said in a heavy French accent "John here is also a siren" he said worried on your reaction to this information as he points to John, the person you were leaning on. You sat up straight and turned around with a blank expression. John was expecting fear and Laf was expecting for you to run. 

Instead you were just like "Oh... thanks for not eating me" You said calmly "Also saving me... must have been a hassle keeping up with my stubbornness under water" they looked at you surprised, they were _not_ expecting that. You yawned and looked up to the orange sky it was getting dark, _"an hour or so has passed huh, you should go home now"_ you thought

"Also not calling 911. Please don't call them" you warned not wanting to go to wherever they'll send you, probably in jail for a hundred years, _"jokes on them"_

"Aren't you scared?" John asked curiously "I mean you almost drowned because of me" he reminded. You just waved your hand. 

"You didn't kill me and bothered doing CPR" you said nonchalantly as you stood up and stretched, not minding you were in your underwear and there were others watching "Why would I be?" Laf coughs trying to remind you they're there, but you just looked at them confused. 

They both look away, you noticed that Laf's wings closed up "....ummm you should put on a shirt Miss?"

"Y/N...." You went to fetch for your clothes. Normally you wouldn't tell your name to strangers but since they saved your life being honest for once was the least you could do "M/N" you did use your middle name as a surname though. 

"....M/N?" Laf looks at you confused "My name is Lafayette.... call me Laf" he introduces himself. 

" _Laf..._ " the name rolls off your tone in familiarity but you never meet this man before. If you met an angel, surely you wouldn't forget. You put on your clothes, deciding you'll wash it tomorrow. You took a closer look at the angel, he had a dark tone of brown skin, black coily hair tied in a bun, deep dark brown eyes and a firm shaped body looming around 6 feet. Though you most notable was his warm grey wings that had a few missing patches that concerned you, as like most monsters before were known to be in freak shows. 

_"Freak shows truly displays how sadistic humans are. Torturing creatures for entertainment is disgusting, horrifying, animalistic, and so on and so forth. The next one I'm in is called the_ **_Nightline Brother’s Travelling Carnival Of Freaks, Mystery, and Tricks!_** _The name alone makes me sick, I can't wait until I'll bring to the circus for their ~~torture~~ show. They shall pay the fines due in hell" your 10 year old self read curiously on your family's so called "History Book"_

"And I'm John!" the siren perks up from your train of thought with a lively enchanting voice. His hazel eyes sparkle with childlike joy, dark brown curly hair covers half of his back and a lighter tone of skin than Laf's with freckles covering the entirety of skin that you can currently see. No mermaids tail in sight though but you guessed he can change his tail to legs. "Sorry for scaring you" he apologized sincerely bowing down his head, you hated that. 

You used hand to lift his face up, unconsciously smiling sweetly "I would have drowned still if the person in front of me was a scuba diver" You said in a motherly tone. "Nothing you should think much about John" he smiled back and you let go of his head. 

"Anyway I should go back home... its getting dark soon" You point up to the sky, signalling it was getting dark. "Don't tell anyone about me though, I'll highly appreciate it. Don't even search my name for a Facebook account or whatever" you declared not wanting them to find out you're a wanted fugitive. 

"Hey... can we meet up again?" John suggested and looked at him surprised. 

"....no" You said clearly 

"Why?" He responded like a disappointed child. 

"Because that's a friend thing" you briefly explained. "And we just met John"

"Why can't we?"

"Because I'm a bad person, I ruin a lot of lives" you avoided eye contact, you were highly positive that whatever look he gave you was like a child. 

" _Mon chérie, give us a chance_ " Laf said in French "Oh I mean-"

" _I'm not good person therefore not a good friend_ " You rebut back in the same language. John grabs you by your shoulders looking determined. 

"Please let us try" you stared at him in silence thinking what will be your response. You shake him off and turn your back on them. 

"Try to find me next time then..." You said before running off deeper into the forest, to a different path than you usually go to. So that they won't find you that easily. 

You don't know how to feel when it comes to others, you don't know how to feel in general. They were all so complicated yet simple to follow, right now those two were concerned. To them you're this shy child who never had any friends and decided to hide herself from the world. They saw how uncaring you are to pain, that you were just in an accident but walked it off like it was normal, maybe depression was in their minds. They saw your scars, there's a million stories those can tell. 

You just can't take another heartbreak and fear they'll give you when they finally know who you are. 

You ~~Wanted? Needed? Don't deserve?~~ don't need help. You ~~always~~ never needed it before. ~~Somebody~~ Nobody ever tried. They'll just lock you up in a place where you'll ~~mourn, get help~~.... 

You breathed heavily when you finally reached your base, the path of going through thick trees in the dark was longer. You still made it anyway and that would be enough. Your "base/home" is a cave you found deep in the woods. It wasn't much, it was big as those caves you see bears living in cartoons. You had you handcrafted bed (old clothes sewn together stuffed with feathers, twigs and leaves), your weapons, and other survival stuff (food, water, firewood those kind of survival stuff). These were the only clothes you had because you decided those old ones would be used for bandages, kindling fire, rags or to the bed project. You just stole clothes whenever you have the chance. 

You felt too tired to do start a fire and make dinner. So you just went directly to bed with the same clothes, wet hair, an empty stomach and stubbornness. You totally wouldn't die because of this, you never did.

✿♥✿
    
    
                "Try to find me then next time..." and just like that you ran off into the woods. They didn't try following you because you are right, it is getting dark. They are deeply concerned for you as how you behave and your scars. It littered every part of your body, kinda like John's freckles but it makes more people worried looking at it, and with so much variety. They were surprised you weren't in the hospital for having all of those. 
    
    

They knew you are a good person, the way you didn't held them for drowning you and the fact you didn't care much on what they were. You hardly got scared or try to leave as soon as possible. You treated them like any normal being should be treated as. Then again it seems like you were hiding from something that made you afraid of reconnecting with others. So scared that you decided that you'll live in a forest. 

John wanted to help you, he feels like something bad will happen to you sooner or later. Laf feels the same way but also wants for some answers for a few different reasons; 

  1. Anything related what they thought above. 
  2. You resembled someone he once knew
  3. What did you do? As angels have this ability to feel if a person is good or not and also empathetic but that's for later. Good people have warm, loving, and/or gentle auras. Bad people have sinister, dark, and/or harmful auras. You have a mix of it, so warm and gentle yet so much that it can choke him. 



"So how hard will it be to find her?" John asked still concerned about you. 

"I don't know...." he wistfully answers. "Anyway we still have work to do tomorrow"

"What if she leaves though" John muttered under his breathe knowing his boyfriend will hear him. "She looks like the type of person to do that"

"She wouldn't... I guess she might if we find her next time but who knows" Laf replied with faith as he wears his hoodie, hiding his wings. John just nods in response and holds out a hand for Laf. Which he gladly takes and they walked silently out off the woods. 

Arriving home quickly as the forest isn't that far from their abode. The first one to greet them was Alexander who rushes to the front door the moment the doorknob moved. 

"Welcome home!!!" He said excitedly lightly kissing John and Laf "Found a bigger personal body of water other than the ocean" the two laugh. 

"You can say lake and it'll just be the same" John chuckled out but frowned remembering the events that happened. Alex immediately picked up on it. 

"Hey... what's wrong?" He asked worried. John thought for awhile if he should tell Alex about what happened between you and him. "Did you met someone?" He gasps "Did they harass you!?"

"Non, mon petit lion, we just met someone we thought we knew. It was a misunderstanding" it wasn't really a lie but he hates hiding things from his significant others. 

"Oh okay then" he accepted it and shrugs. The smell of something burning permeates the air. "Our dinner!" He ran back into the kitchen in almost light speed and begun to try and save whatever he made. "I hope it's still good..."

"It'll be okay" Laf assures as he walks up to him to kiss his forehead "It always will be, with all of you with me" 

"I thought I was the cheesy one here" Alex comments still trying to salvage. They just laugh and continue on their night. 


	3. Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow its almost a year since I updated

OKAY! So if you read the title, its an  
**_announcement_** not an update

Well... I wanna ask y'all if you're still interested if I update this because I'm unsure as hell if I should or no. 

And if a certain number of y'all do want it to continue answer these questions:  
1\. Why do you like it? 

2\. Is it okay if I maybe, just _maybe_ , reboot this? 

3\. Should I even make this Hamilton related anymore.  
_*gasp* what are you saying author! How do you think I found this in the first place!?_ You may ask. The thing is, I don't want to be restrained to the fact that they're not my characters. _Actually well I suck keeping them in character and I'm still not confident if I wrote them correctly_ The fact that they're monsters is just.... how is this even anything Hamilton related? Like they the same names and might have the same backstory but I dunno really. I don't want to use this fandom as a way to make myself known, a filter everyone likes to see. I could keep ranting but you get the point. I'm cool if it stays Hamilton related though so up to you guys really.... if you still exist.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I continue?


End file.
